Rogue Ten: Ten Public Figures Who Might Just Be on NZT

Thursday, 17 March 2011 14:10 Written by  Jordan DeSaulnier
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Rogue Ten: Ten Public Figures Who Might Just Be on NZT

In Limitless, which hits theaters today, March 18, Bradley Cooper plays Eddie Morra, an unmotivated writer who stumbles upon NZT, a wonder drug that allows him to access his brain's full potential.  In no time at all, the drug's laser focus has propelled him to the highest levels of power in the financial sector.  We've noticed some real-life people in the public eye who have risen so meteorically, or consistently done such formidably intelligent work, that we have begun to suspect they may have had some assistance from the fictitious pill.  Check out the ten possibly NZT-fueled figures:


10. Jennifer Lawrence

Before her Oscar nominated performance in last year's Winter's Bone, Lawrence's most substantial work was a supporting role on 'The Bill Engvall Show'.  She's playing shape-shifting mutant Mystique in this summer's X-Men: First Class, and she appears in the upcoming The Beaver and Like Crazy.  To top it all off, she just landed the coveted lead role in the adaptation of the insanely popular Suzanne Collins novel 'The Hunger Games'.   

9. Aaron Sorkin

The creator of 'Sports Night' and 'The West Wing' most recently wrote the screenplay for The Social NetworkCome on, how could dialogue so crisp come from an ordinary human mind?  The French expression l'esprit de l'escalier describes that phenomenon where you think of the perfect, clever thing to say, only once it's too late to actually say it.  Sorkin has likely never experienced this, at least not since he starting dosing on NZT.

8. Martha Stewart

A lot of people are good at decorating, cooking, and doily-making, but they're not the founders of vast, cross-platform empires.  When Stewart did five months of a six month sentence in federal prison in 2004-2005, her prison nickname was 'M. Diddy' and she became a liason between prisoners and administration.  She must have found a way to re-up her NZT supply from inside the joint.

7. Gary Busey

If you start using NZT, it does indeed provide an unimaginable mental augmentation, but if you ever stop taking the drug, the side effects can be devastating.  Busey was an Oscar nominated actor for his incredible performance in 1979's The Buddy Holly Story.  Nowadays, well, he's actually still pretty cool, but in a completely  different, far more unhinged way.

6. Banksy

How do you get to be an internationally renowned artist through satiric graffiti and clever pranks, all while maintaining a secret identity?  Pharmaceutical assistance, of course.  If you felt like Exit Through the Gift Shop was a few steps ahead of you as you watched, there's a good reason for that.  Banksy is, in many ways, the ultimate smart ass, and you have to be smart to be a smart ass.

5. Christopher Nolan

In 1998, Nolan's first film, Following, which was shot on weekends and at night, managed to get a very limited released.  A decade later, The Dark Knight became (at the time) the second-highest grossing film of all time.  Memento will make your head spin, and every one of his films, from Following to Inception, feature the restless clockwork precision and ceaseless ambition of an NZT user.

4. Lady Gaga

A few years ago, nobody knew who Stephanie Germanotta was, and now, Lady Gaga is an inescapable global superstar.  With her music, she seems to have found a scientific formula for mainstream pop success.  Gaga has found the perfect, counter-intuitive means of capitalizing on modern celebrity while avoiding its destructive effects.  Nobody talks about Gaga's personal life because we're too busy marveling at her outlandishness.  The fame monster, indeed.

3. James Cameron

Years ago, when he first starting saying, "I want to make a massively expensive 3D environmental allegory about a paralyzed guy who beams his mind into the body of a nine foot tall alien cat-person," somebody must have wondered if he was on drugs.  Perhaps they were right to wonder.  The director of the two highest grossing movies of all time (Avatar, Titanic) used to be a truck driver.  How else do you think a guy goes from being a truck-driving high school graduate to being Big Jim, the undisputed King of Cinema?

2. Oprah Winfrey

I almost didn't include Oprah, because she could very easily have me killed.  Seriously, we're just in an early phase of her master plan, which involves summoning her legion of devoted followers, turning them into an unstoppable military force, and conducting a coup d'etat that will end with us saluting Emperor for Life Winfrey.

1. Mark Zuckerberg

When he was still a teenager, he created a social outlet that would, in about a half-decade, be used by 500 million people and make him the youngest billionaire in the world.   You had to know that the Facebook founder would be on this list.  And you had to have asked yourself, at one time or another, how the hell he did it.  Well now you know: NZT.

Limitless, starring Bradley Cooper, Robert DeNiro, and Abbie Cornish, opens in a theater near you tomorrow, Friday the 18th.  Check it out this weekend and see if these ten success stories match up with Eddie Morra's rapid rise to power.

Who else do you suspect has achieved the pinnacle of success in their field with the aid of NZT, the Limitless wonder drug?

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