It's battle between the impossibly dominant alpha males from both sides of the pond.  British spy and unstoppable ladies' man James Bond got his first Skyfall teaser trailer in the middle of the night.  Now, San Diego's finest newscaster is proving that he, and by extension America, are kind of a big deal, as next year's Anchorman sequel now has not one, but two teaser trailers online.  That's right.  Two.

Only the biggest of big would-be blockbusters get super-teasery teaser trailers way ahead of their releases.  We're talking about the Godzillas and Spider-Men and the like.  Movies with marketing budgets greater than the GDP of many industrialized nations and more stars than the damn Milky Way Galaxy.  It's appropriate, then, that the sequel to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, has a teaser before it has a script or release date.  It's kind of a big deal, after all.

Nowadays, little teases for trailers – ads hyping ads – are increasingly common, but perhaps none has more succinctly encapsulated the appeal of the product its hyping than this new The Expendables 2 trailer tease.  

The only actual bits from the sequel included are a series of explosions which sort of blend together into one bit generic mega-explosion.  Most of the trailer tease, though, is Terry Crews yelling at the audience in a most aggressive manner.  Crews, who reprises his role as the amusingly named Hale Caesar, is wearing a tank top and shouting about the imperative importance of watching The Expendables 2 trailer this Thursday.  Explosions, muscles, shouting, and zero subtext.

Last week closed out with the debut of the first official one sheet for Looper, this fall's science fiction action movie from the one and only Rian Johnson.  This week will see the premiere of the film's trailer, but we're going to have wait three days for it to arrive online.  For now, a video tease that lasts just under a minute should suffice.

Flying cars.  Colin Farrell being strapped into a familiar machine.  Sprawling futuristic mega-cities.  Kate Beckinsale wielding a big gun in slow motion.  Stormtrooper-looking goons.  Explosions.  Jessica Biel riding shotgun in one of the aforementioned flying cars.  Some more explosions. Colin Farrell leaping.  All this and a tiny bit more you can see in the thirty-ish-second long teaser for the Total Recall teaser trailer.

After an almost comedically abrupt hype-building glimpse last week, the first teaser for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 has arrived online in full.  It's probably a moot point, though, since this trailer was attached to The Hunger Games, and it looks as though pretty much everybody in America went to see that novel adaptation, meaning y'all have probably already laid eyes on Kristen Stewart as the now-vampiric Bella Swan.

Synopsis: The narrative architect behind the Bourne film series, Tony Gilroy, takes the helm in the next chapter of the hugely popular espionage franchise that has earned almost $1 billion at the global box office: The Bourne Legacy.  The writer/director expands the Bourne universe created by Robert Ludlum with an original story that introduces us to a new hero (Jeremy Renner) whose life-or-death stakes have been triggered by the events of the first three films.

Did you know that The Expendables 2 is on the way next summer?  Did you know that Sylvester Stallone will again be joined by a cadre of muscular action stars wielding guns of various sizes and probably kicking, punching, and stabbing many, many nameless henchmen?  Since you might be unaware of these facts, Lionsgate has released the very first teaser trailer for The Expendables 2, which helpfully introduces all the dudes who will be shooting, kicking, punching, and stabbing.  That's pretty much all it does though, sidestepping plot and all that jibba jabba* to supply a single name and image for Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, septuagenarian Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In 2009 Tom Six horrified plenty of viewers with his sadistic “medical” shocker The Human Centipede. The story follows a self proclaimed former surgeon who kidnaps a couple of American girls after their car breaks down in a rural area while traveling Germany. The girls are then subjected to a disturbing medical experiment in which the surgeon connects his victims via their gastric systems.

The trailer for Casey Affleck's incisive documentary and/or elaborate hoax about Joaquin Phoenix, I'm Still Here, has just gotten a brief but deep trailer. And by "deep", I mean it contains someone telling Phoenix that he's a drop of water on a mountaintop. Or something. It's really weird, that's for sure.